Dreams & Disasters
by Isemay
Summary: The entertainment industry is unforgiving, but Xiao-Mei Lin is determined to become the star she always dreamed of being. Being an idol's manager was certainly not what Kiku Honda had in mind for the future, but at some point her dreams become his own. When dreams and disasters collide, a smile is your greatest weapon. / Kikuwan; Idol AU. A collaboration by inspiration99 and Isemay
1. Track 1-1: Snow Globe

**Track 1: Snow Globe**

 _So I left home_

 _I packed up and I moved far away_  
 _From my past one day_  
 _And I laughed_  
 _I laughed, I laughed, I laughed_

 _I sound fine on the outside_

 _"Fine on the Outside" by Priscilla Ahn_

* * *

There was a steady drizzle that turned the sky a passive gray and pattered rhythmically on the windshield. The humidity was particularly heavy today despite the cooling sea breeze and the AC roared from the vents. It wasn't very pleasant weather, but at least it meant that there were not likely to be as many fans lingering outside of the dorms waiting to catch a glimpse of Taiwan's hottest, up-and-coming stars. Kiku sighed inwardly. He did not want to think of those fans at the moment.

The stoplight blinked red and he took to the chance to check his phone. He'd sent a message to Mei earlier to let her know he was on his way, but there was still no response. He just hoped she would be ready by the time he got there. This was one of her first major offers from an advertising company and he didn't want her to miss the chance just for being late. He finally pulled up to the newly built dormitory— only a few blocks away from the New Asian Entertainment, NAE, headquarters— and was relieved to find it mostly empty. He grabbed the umbrella in the backseat and quickly jogged over to the building. He fumbled for his card for a moment before scanning himself in. Once in the building he dialed Mei's number to let her know he was here. She was only on the third floor, but he usually just waited for her at the entrance. He glanced down a little anxiously at his watch. They had plenty of time since he'd purposefully come early, but he couldn't help but feel apprehensive.

* * *

Mei's phone buzzed impatiently as she looked around frantically. Her purse, half full, still needed to be filled with necessities for a whole day of auditions. She groaned inwardly. Marathoning that reality show last night was not a good idea.

Mei grabbed her phone, stuffed it in her bag, slipped on her shoes, and rushed out the door. Kiku Honda, was waiting at the foot of the stairs, as usual. She caught him regarding her frazzled state and asked if she was alright. She replied hurriedly that she was, and the two set off for the commercial filming studio at the edge of the city.

It had started to drizzle, and as Kiku pulled onto the highway, the drizzle turned into giant droplets of water, beating down relentlessly. The thundering rain enveloped the two in the car. Mei hummed a song and tapped her nails against the window

"Miss Lin, are you not nervous at all?" the voice of her manager roused Mei from her thoughts.

"What's there to be nervous for?" she responded causally. "I've done auditions before. This one won't be any different."

He didn't say anything in return, and the rain didn't stop as they arrived at the tall, grey studio.

* * *

Once he parked, Kiku quickly grabbed the umbrella and jogged over to Mei's side. He'd learned from experience that his own, portable umbrella was much too small for two, particularly when they had bags to carry. She'd been kind enough to not make a huge deal about it, but he'd bought a larger umbrella the next day. He opened her door and held up the umbrella patiently as she gathered her things.

Even though she'd said she wasn't nervous, Kiku couldn't help watching her from the corner of his eye anxiously. He thought about asking again to make sure, but he had a feeling she'd be more annoyed if he did so he stopped himself. He knew she was talented and her rising popularity meant that auditions came fairly easily. Still, she had a tendency be a little blunt and argumentative with staff. He took a moment to mentally calm himself. Sometimes he felt more like a parent than a manager.

Once they were inside, he steered her toward the stylists. Since it was an audition, her personal stylist, Lien, wouldn't be there today. Despite the time, the place was already bustling with activity and several of the other models were already there. Kiku spotted the director as well and winced, recognizing him from his trainee days. The man was both despised for his fastidious, pompous demeanor and admired for his shrewd management. Doing his best to ignore the sense of foreboding that settled in the pit of his stomach he ran through a mental checklist of things he needed to complete. He turned back to Mei, who was already being prepped by the stylist.

"Do you need me to get you anything, Miss Lin?" He asked out of habit and also because he needed something to keep his mind off of his own anxiety.

* * *

"No," she replied without looking at him. The stylist was only doing slight touches to her makeup, so she finished quickly. But Kiku was still looking at her anxiously. She frowned at him.

"I go on in a few minutes. Why don't you wait outside? You make me nervous, Mr. Honda." She gave a dry chuckle. She really wasn't too nervous herself, but she could almost see the sweat coming out of her manager's brows.

Kiku returned the chuckle awkwardly and hesitated before saying, "Alright, Miss Lin."

The soundproof audition studio had a broad window, and Mei was able to see Kiku sitting outside, on the edge of his seat, as he watched her audition process. The director was already in the room when she walked in. She greeted the bearded Caucasian man cheerfully, to which he replied with an annoyed grunt.

"Miss Xiao-Mei Lin?"

"Yes, sir."

Mei started her lines, but stopped as the director waved his hand at her. Her heart dropped to her stomach. She hadn't even gotten past the first two sentences.

"Is this your first time auditioning?"

"No, sir."

"Tsh." He muttered something under his breath and scribbled on a form. "Go on."

Mei felt the hairs on her arm rise in indignation at the man's rudeness, but she forced a smile and continued. The last part of the script was emotional, and as Mei raised her voice and started pacing around the room passionately, the director slammed his hand on the desk. She jumped, and silence flooded the room awkwardly.

"That's enough, Miss Lin." The burly director didn't even bother to look at her as he made notes with a large, red marker. The swish and squeak of his writing grated against Mei's ears. She did not move.

The direct glared at her, his marker screeching to a stop. "You may go."

Mei's heart was pounding as she crinkled her script in her fists. _What did I do wrong?_ She tried to stammer a thank you, but one last bark from the man was enough to send her reeling out of the room, enraged and embarrassed.

As she exited with her ears ringing, Kiku shot up from his chair, his eyes wide with concern and confusion.

* * *

"Miss Lin?" He started hesitantly as Mei threw open the door. She hardly spared him a glance as she stuffed her script into her bag. "What happened?"

He hadn't been able to hear the exchange within the room, but the bearded director's sour look and the strained smile on Mei's face had told him that the audition had not ended well.

"What kind of director is he?" She exclaimed and he winced, glancing towards the staff down the hall.

"Miss Lin-"

"He wouldn't even let me finish my stupid lines!" Kiku gently touched her shoulder for her to calm down. Her face was still livid, but she threw him a questioning look.

"He's like that with everyone, Miss Lin. Wait here, I'll have a word with production."

When he was sure that she wouldn't go and rant to the director himself, he set off to find the production manager. She was a severe looking woman with her hair pulled into a strict bun and frames perched on her high-bridged, pointed nose.

"Excuse me?"

She did not glance up from the clipboard in her hands. "Yes?"

"I'm Xiao-Mei Lin's manager. She just finished her audition-"

"All actors will be informed if they have passed the audition in two weeks time."

"Thank you," he ducked his head in a short bow and started to leave, but the manager's voice made him stop.

"I wouldn't worry about Miss Lin. She fared better than the girls who've auditioned so far." The woman finally looked up and there was sympathy behind the glare of her square-framed glasses. He could see the worn lines at the corner of her lips beneath the makeup. So the auditioners were not the only ones affected by the director's surly attitude. Kiku wasn't sure if Mei would even accept an offer if she made it in, but he thanked her politely all the same.

He glanced at his watch. They'd finished much earlier than he thought and her next schedule wasn't for a couple of hours. He supposed it was for the best though. It would give Mei time to cool down.

.

Her next audition in the day went smoothly, but as she finished her lines in front of the casting director, the puzzled look on the woman's face told Mei that she had delivered the lines with a bit more force than necessary. Face flushed, she thanked the director and left without a word.

.

.

.

* * *

 **A/N:** Hello! This is a roleplay-turned-fanfiction by inspiration99 and I! Since it was originally a rp, the chapters may flow differently from a normal story because the point of view alternates between the main characters and the sections vary in length. As other characters are introduced the point of view may switch to them as well. We have planned several different arcs that will span a few chapters. The first arc is "Track 1: Snow Globe"— written at the top. Due to our schedules, it will be difficult to post chapters consistently, but we hope you will stick around and enjoy reading it anyway!


	2. Track 1-2: Snow Globe

**Track 1: Snow Globe**

* * *

Like a violent hurricane passing through an island, the incident with the rude director passed after a few days. Mei didn't talk about it with Kiku, and the manager never brought it up again; they assumed that the role was as good as gone. And even if she somehow managed to get the role, Mei swore that she wouldn't even consider it. With that, she began the preparations for an upcoming commercial shoot, an important one that would be shown on primetime television on the country's most popular channels.

"This is an incredibly important shoot, Miss Lin," Kiku told her as she practiced with him. "The director is very particular about shooting it on the historical site - they've cleared it for only one day, and they plan to spend no more than fifteen hours on the set. Which means —"

"Full attention and concentration at all time, compliance to director and crew," Mei finished. She smiled at him confidently. "Don't worry about it, Mr. Honda. I'll be fine."

He smiled back, a rare occurrence. "I'm sure you'll be."

.

But on the day of the shoot, the little apartment in downtown Taipei was unusually quiet. Mei couldn't remember much from that morning, other than her head spinning uncontrollably through a maelstrom of thick clouds and the gentle touch of Mr. Honda.

She was vaguely aware of her surroundings. The only thing on her mind was the shoot. The historical site. The national television.

"Mr. Honda...I have to go...I have to be there…"

His soft but firm voice came back to her, echoing through the mugginess of her consciousness. "No, Miss Lin. You have a fever of 40 degrees. Going anywhere in your condition is out of the question." There was something being held to her lips, and it trickled into her mouth as her head lolled back. Someone was behind her, holding her body up.

Mr. Honda was saying to her, "Don't worry. I'll take care of it."

Mei felt a coolness on her forehead and heard a soft voice beside her on the phone. She opened her dry mouth to protest, but no sounds came out. Her throat burned, and the storm in her head raged as she fell into a restless sleep.

* * *

It took a flurry of phone calls to finally work out an alternative plan for the day and Kiku could already feel the tension from both parties. The company because Mei's schedule was filling up fast and she couldn't really afford to get severely sick and the director because now he had to take on an understudy in an already tight situation.

He glanced down at Mei's sleeping form. She shifted around from time to time, kicking the covers and mumbling something incoherently. He readjusted the blankets, reluctant to leave her alone in her condition. The company would be sending someone over to take her to the doctor, but that wouldn't be for another two hours. He quickly wrote her a note about the situation, reminding her to drink plenty of water and to call immediately if she needed anything, and set it beside a large water bottle on the night stand. That would have to do.

.

Kiku managed to arrive on set early so Mei's stand-in, Lee Ann, would have time to be adjusted. The car ride had been a rather uncomfortable affair. Lee Ann (a stage name she'd insisted on instead of Li An) had chatted almost the entire way, but her flippant remarks and innocent giggles struck him as insincere. Though he'd introduced himself as Mr. Honda, she arbitrarily called him Manager Honda which he did his best to ignore despite a prickle of irritation. She was an emerging actress, though Kiku suspected the only reason she was offered roles was because of her large fanbase. Personally he thought her talent lay in modelling and singing.

The director approached him soon upon their arrival, a severe frown carved on his face. Kiku prepared himself for the worst.

"My deepest apologies, sir. If Miss Lin's condition was not so severe she would have called in, but—"

The director waved his hand impatiently. "The producer has already informed me. I just wanted to remind you that we are on a very tight schedule and I don't have time to deal with amateurs. Is Miss Lee Ann aware of the situation?"

"Yes," Kiku affirmed though he wasn't sure how entirely the understudy grasped the gravity of her position. The director grunted, apparently satisfied, before returning to oversee the set.

The location was beautiful and the old temple with its golden, sloping tiled roof and intricate designs tastefully worn by time combined with the warm, tropical weather made the scenery perfect. Unfortunately, Kiku hardly had time to appreciate it between attempting to placate the director and coach Lee Ann through the process. The director, who was not an unkind man but rather a relentless perfectionist, had Lee Ann do multiple retakes, growing more and more frustrated with each try. Kiku couldn't exactly blame him as she had a habit of exaggerating her lines and movements to the point of becoming almost comical. Her attitude gradually soured under the director's scathing criticism and the hot, heavy. By their noon break everyone was on edge.

"That director is mental." Lee Ann scowled with her arms crossed sullenly as she took a break under the shade of one of the few tents. "I'm doing everything exactly as he tells me and he still complains. He should've just rescheduled if he wanted Miss Lin so bad."

Kiku passed her a plastic water bottle from the ice chest and ventured mildly, "I think the director wants you to deliver your act more naturally. If you are too immersed in your role, it will appear too exaggerated."

She took a sip of her water and commented with feigned innocence, "I didn't know you used to act."

Kiku said nothing in response. He hoped Mei would be feeling better tomorrow because he wasn't sure if he could retain his calm exterior around this girl for much longer.

.

The filming mercifully ended a couple of hours earlier than planned and he suspected it was mostly because the crew were too irritable to continue productively. He bought extra drinks on his company credit card for everyone as both an apology and an attempt to end on the best terms possible.

When he finally returned to the NAE headquarters that evening, he was informed that Mei had passed her audition from two weeks earlier. He'd nearly forgotten about the fiasco from two weeks ago and he wasn't sure whether to feel relieved that she now had a chance to make up for her absence at the commercial shooting, or reluctant that he would have to work with the pompous foreign director. _Ah, Mei._ He felt a wave of guilt. Being preoccupied with the chaos on set, he had forgotten to check on her. Not wanting to disturb her if she was resting, he sent a quick message.

 _Everything went well today. How are you feeling?_

* * *

Mei didn't see the text until late in the night, when she finally roused from her restless sleep. She sent a short reply.

 _Fine. How was the understudy_

Within a few minutes, Kiku answered.

 _She did alright. The shoot ended early._

Mei sighed a breath of relief and disappointment. She was glad that Lee Ann had done well, and that Kiku didn't seem to have a hard time with her despite the talk surrounding Lee Ann as being a rather difficult actress to work with. But there was a stone in her stomach, a bitterness in her mouth that wasn't from the medicine. She should've been the one on that set, the one on national television. This could have been her big break at last, her chance to become more noticed in the industry. Mei sat up, groggy and disoriented. She was tired of sleeping but her head still felt like it was being hammered from the inside. A ding from her phone notified another message from Kiku Honda.

 _Almost forgot to tell you- you got the role for Director Kroner's commercial. Shoot is three weeks from now._

The bitterness in her throat turned sour as memories of the audition flooded back through her. How could she have possibly gotten the role with the way the director acted towards her the other day? That cranky, rude bastard who clearly didn't care about being remotely civil to anyone around him...

She texted, _Not doing it_.

Kiku replied, _You should. I know Khroner is hard on his actors but this commercial is another national one. You need the publicity._

Mei slammed her phone on her bed and groaned. Honda was right. As much as she detested the attitude of the foreign director, she couldn't afford to give up another chance to get more popular producers to notice her. Reluctantly, she agreed.

* * *

 **A/N:** I just realized that I forgot to mention this in the previous A/N, but the story takes place in Taiwan! The entertainment company, NAE, that Mei is under is an international company that hires people from all over the world. Thus most of the people communicate using English :)

Feel free to check out the original rp on tumblr (under the same name: Dreams & Disasters) as well if you want to see the more recent updates! However, since it is posted directly from the rp, there may be more mistakes. Most of the editing takes place later when we're about to post it here :)

Please follow, favorite, and review if you enjoyed reading!


	3. Track 1-3: Snow Globe

**Track 1: Snow Globe**

* * *

Within a week, Mei was back on her feet and practicing for the commercial. She held back her anger and resentment. The day of the audition soon arrived.

.

There was something wrong as soon as Kiku pulled into the parking lot at the site.

"Where is everyone?" Mei wondered. There was no one else on the parking lot, and the set was nowhere to be seen.

Kiku frowned. "I'm pretty sure this is the location." He checked his phone.

But before they had to wonder any more, a woman rushed up to them. Her hair was in a messy bun and she breathed heavily as if she had been running for a while. "Miss Mei Lin?"

"Yes."

"The director decided to switch the location and he forgot to tell you. Sorry." She led them to a park near where they had parked, where they found Khroner looking annoyed and impatient.

"Alright, miss princess. Finally here, huh? Let's get moving."

Mei couldn't help but bristle. She had promised Kiku that she wouldn't let her anger get in the way of the shoot, but it was going to be harder than she had expected.

.

They started with a simple conversation scene. Mei put on a smile and performed as she had always practiced. But director Khroner shook his head and clicked his tongue. "Goodness, miss princess. Let's leave the cutesy cutesy for the little kids, shall we?"

Mei fought the urge to confront the man about her acting choices. She caught Kiku's eyes as he watched her from the side of the set. No, she must put up with this.

But the pattern never ceased. Khroner always found something despicably wrong with Mei's delivery and an equally obnoxious way to inform her of it. By noon it was all that Mei could do to remain calm and not rage quit the set.

During lunch break, Kiku approached her with a lunch box and a water bottle. "Are you feeling well, Miss Lin?"

"I'm not hungry," she replied without looking at him. She knew that the observant man could see the anger in her eyes and she felt irritated at his attempt to pretend otherwise, trying to keep his usual distance from emotions.

He continued, "You need to eat something. We still have more than six hours here." A pause. Then, "Would you like me to talk to the director?"

She whirled on him. "No. That is not necessary." She grabbed the lunch from Kiku and ripped the top open. "Please don't worry about me, Mr. Honda. I'll do better for the rest of shoot." Her voice shook as she still refused to look at him. Mei stabbed her chopsticks into the lunch and waited for her manager to leave. She was a responsible adult and able to handle a social crisis. Kiku left her alone.

.

However, the mood of the director, ever so volatile, smashed through the tense atmosphere like a hurricane after lunch. His yelling and condescending comments nearly drew Mei to tears, but she managed to push through, altering her character until it was hardly recognizable even to her. It was a miracle when the shoot finally ended late in the evening. Kiku stepped off the curb with a jacket as the crew began to pack up in the light drizzle. A look of undeniable guilt shadowed his eyes, and Mei didn't hesitate to ask about it.

"What's wrong?"

Kiku mustered a smile and shook his head. "Nothing. Let's get out of this rain. It's been a long day." Mei gave him a skeptical look, but she didn't say anything.

* * *

The music reverberated through the speakers of the car which would normally bother Kiku but he was too enveloped in his own thoughts to notice. After awhile though, Mei leaned forward and pressed the pause button. The abrupt silence startled Kiku out of his brooding.

"Mr. Honda, you're really starting to make me worry. What's wrong?" He could feel her piercing gaze on him without looking away from the road. He wondered how she was able to recognize his anxiety so easily. Perhaps the strain of the past few months was causing his neutral mask to slip. It unsettled him.

"I'm sorry, Miss Lin. I'm a bit distracted, that's all. You needn't worry."

He saw her fold her arms in his peripheral vision. "I can't be concerned about you as your friend? You're always asking after me."

 _Because I'm your manager,_ he thought. At the same time he felt touched that she would consider him a friend. It was a little absurd seeing as they had already known each other for a couple of years and he certainly cared for her. In his mind though, he had forced himself to consider their relationship a strictly business one.

But yes, he supposed they were friends.

"I just feel like I should have done more to help you. I was the one who told you that you had to take the role after all. I felt guilty all day watching you take Mr. Khroner's ranting without a word. I wanted to do something, but in the end I just stood by." He was startled by the tide of emotion rising inside of him and he quickly attempted to calm his nerves.

"I chose the role too, Mr. Honda. Besides, I told you I would manage and I did." Her tone was light, but there was a forced airiness about it. She must've sensed that he didn't find her reassurances very convincing and she reached over to gently pat him on the arm. "You're a great manager, Mr. Honda. I couldn't ask for anyone better."

This time he smiled back gratefully. He was about to reply when his phone began to vibrate violently from its position in the plastic cup holder.

"Sorry, Miss Lin, do you mind checking to see who is calling?"

Mei leaned over to peer at the lit screen and read aloud. "Arthur Kirkland."

"Ah, leave it then. I'll call him back."

"Wait, Arthur Kirkland as in the leader of that British rock band?" He was faintly surprised she recognized his name. Rock didn't seem like Mei's kind of music, but he'd been wrong about her taste in music before.

"That's the one," Kiku nodded. He and Arthur had been good friends since high school, but he couldn't think of why he would want to call him during working hours.

"Why is he calling you?"

"I'm not sure."

.

When Kiku finally returned to his apartment, he called Arthur. Before long, a gruff British voice filtered through the speaker.

"About time you called back," Arthur said without preamble.

"Sorry, I had work," Kiku replied apologetically.

"That's actually what I wanted to talk about." He leaned forward. Arthur rarely called unless it concerned business; normally he would send an email.

"Is that so?"

"There's an opening at my record label for a songwriter. I know you're already under contract at NAE, but I think you'd really make it big over here. I've already talked to the producer about possible collaborations if you're up for it."

Kiku's mind spun. He and Arthur had often talked about going into the music industry together. His dream had always been of becoming an artist. The songwriting, the composing, the performance— that was what he loved. This could be the chance he'd been waiting for.

Then he remembered Mei. He'd truly wanted to help her make her dream a reality. In a way, her dream had become his own. He couldn't just walk away when she was right on the verge of becoming the star she yearned to be.

"I don't know, I still have unfinished work here." He trailed off uncertainly.

"When are you going to start following your own dreams, Kiku? It's your life, remember?" Arthur sighed, though not unkindly.

"I'll think about it." Kiku replied quietly.

"Take your time, but let me know in a couple weeks."

"I will."

.

They exchanged small talk and Kiku couldn't help feel a pang of envy as he listened to his friend describe the work he was doing at his own record label. Arthur had always known what he wanted and there was little that could stop him once he set his mind to something. After they hung up, he stared at his blank phone for a while, pondering his options.

Arthur's words still echoed in his ears. He'd long since given up on his dream, but it sat there in the corner of his mind. Failing as a trainee had been the most humiliating moment he'd ever experienced and it still left a bitter taste in his mouth. He'd been good, just not good enough. That was the way it worked in the East. You either met the standards or left. He wouldn't have to worry about that if he worked with Arthur. There wouldn't be the variety shows, the MCs, the acting roles, and the ever-present audience. There would just be the studio.

His thoughts again drifted to Mei. He wanted to stay, but did she really need him? Like she said, she'd managed to endure the filming today despite the director's poor treatment on her own. Besides, was he really cut out to be a manager? It wasn't that he disliked his job- he enjoyed it. He liked helping Mei practice for her auditions and listening to her ideas for songs she wanted to write. But the pressure was beginning to wear him down. There were the irritable staff and demands from the company, schedules to keep, social media to monitor, and fans to restrain. Too many voices all at once.

He ruffled his hair uncertainly. Maybe Arthur was right. Maybe it was time he moved on.

.

* * *

 **A/N:** For those of you who don't know, idols in Asia (at least in Korea and Japan and I believe China is very similar) are often expected to do more than just sing. They act in dramas/movies/commercials, appear on variety shows, and, if they are popular enough, can become MCs. They're also very closely monitored and sometimes the contracts they sign with companies are called 'slave contracts'. Although the company Mei is under isn't near as strict, there are still the expectations for her to expand her talents in multiple areas. Most of the information comes from my knowledge of the K-Pop world and Japanese TV and whatever information we can get from the Internet, but we will try to keep this AU as accurate as we can!

We hope you enjoyed the update! :D


	4. Track 1-4: Snow Globe

**Track 1: Snow Globe**

* * *

The cycle wore on, hours after hours, and then days and weeks. Auditions, shoots, and interviews. It was a relentless schedule that never ceased.

Kiku Honda's anxiety and weariness became undeniably obvious. He showed up to the studio everyday at 9 am on the dot, his shirt ironed perfectly and his eyes sagging with dark bags. His neat, dark hair was tinged with grey. He smiled at Mei politely, a strained expression.

Mei was not ignorant of her manager's conditions. Her hands clenched in guilt. She was aware that her conditions and situations had taken their toll on the hard working young man. She returned his smile cordially.

"Good morning, Mr. Honda."

She wouldn't blame him, honestly, if he decided that the role of manager was too much for him to handle. He was a first-time manager, after all. She understood the stress and never-ending schedule that her career entailed. Honda wasn't the only person coming to the studio with dark bags under his eyes; the other person hid her distress well under layers of makeup.

Mei knew that he could easily ask for a referral to another branch of NAE, or even out of the company. He could be back in his homeland of Japan, surrounded by his people and a quiet office, where rude and critical directors didn't exist. He could be at home with a nice cup of coffee and his laptop at night, instead of catching a taxi in the rain with because his car had broken down on the way back from a show.

He could very easily walk right out of her life. Mei knew that. And he had no reason not to.

Her chest tightened at the thought of him suffering because of her. Yet at the same time, a voice in her mind was begging Kiku Honda not to leave her alone. When was the last time she had someone to trust? When was the last time she had depended so much on a single person?

Without her noticing it, he had become someone integral to her own life. Mei realized she struggled to imagine going through her day's work without Kiku Honda at her side, offering steadfast encouragements and reminders when her brain felt like a frayed rope after a long day, quietly sliding her a lunch box when she forgot to pack a meal, waiting for her at her door when she found herself rushing half an hour late.

Mei was suddenly afraid to think of what everything would be like without him.

.

She grabbed her guitar and left the studio. It was lunch break, and a warm day. The shade under a tree buzzed with cicadas. Mei sat down and picked at the strings of the guitar.

But she wasn't the star he had to orbit around like a moon, trapped and tethered. She told herself that it wouldn't matter to her, whoever her manager was. They would do their job, and she would do hers. It was up to Kiku Honda to do what he deemed the best for himself; he was in no way obliged to stay with her. If he left her, she would always find a way manage. Mei strummed the guitar and started to sing.

 _Inside my snow globe_

 _Sky's all clear, bright and sunny_

 _Can you hear me cry?_

 _Outside this glassy globe_

 _You smile at me_

 _Can you hear me cry?_

 _Inside my snow globe,_

 _The birds sing, flowers bloom_

 _Can you hear me cry?_

 _The glass reflects your eyes_

 _You look at me when no one else bothers to_

 _You smile when everyone else turns away_

 _Can you see me_

 _Inside my snow globe?_

 _I think you see me_

 _I think you hear me_

 _So then_

 _Don't leave me_

 _All alone_

 _Inside my glassy snow globe_

Something wet fell onto the glossy surface of the guitar. She touched her face to find it wet with tears.

Mei laughed as more droplets slipped onto the guitar. She covered her face.

She would be alright. By herself. That was how it had always been, from the time when her aunt took her into that small apartment and put away the newspaper nervously when Mei tried to grab at it.

The guitar was slippery wet. She pushed it away from her and buried her face within her sleeves.

From behind her, Mei heard the scuffle of a pair of feet. She looked up in alarm, but there was no one there. She was alone.

.

.

.

* * *

 **A/N:** This chapter is a bit short, but enjoy and let us know what you think!

The song Mei sings is written by inspriation99 and is called "Snow Globe", the title of this arc :)


	5. Track 1-5: Snow Globe

**Track 1: Snow Globe**

* * *

Kiku closed the door softly behind him. He'd just come in through the back entrance adjacent to a little courtyard (space was precious in the city, but the company had managed to build a small sort of backyard. A small spot of greenery in a building of all the latest, glittering technology).

That was when he'd heard her voice. Clear and unwavering despite the tears he'd glimpsed on her face. He'd stopped, feeling guilty for listening to something that was obviously so raw. His heart ached though to see her so alone. He almost took a step forward, but hesitated. Would she forgive him for seeing her at one of her weakest moments? But wasn't that what she needed now? Someone to stay by her side even if the rest of the world was on the other side of the glass?

He lowered his gaze. He continued along the paved concrete, past that island of greenery, biting his tongue when his shoe scuffed against the ground, but he didn't look back as he quietly let himself back inside.

He entered the studio where Mei had been earlier, pouring over ideas and composing bits of songs she wanted to release in a future album. Had she really been laughing and teasing him in the same room an hour ago? He straightened the pages of notes scattered across the table absentmindedly.

 _Can you hear my cry?_

Regret tugged at the corner of his lips. He had been so absorbed in his own pity and disappointment that he had forgotten that he was not the only one who was alone. Something in him finally clicked his resolve into place and he took out his cellphone as he left the studio for his own office.

He'd made up his mind.

* * *

Mei sat in the lounge of the studio. It was a quiet afternoon, and the activities in the studio moved slowly like leaves in stagnant water. A book was propped open in front of her, but she couldn't comprehend the words on the page. After rereading the same paragraph three times, she decided to tune her ears in on the exchange between two women by the water fountain.

"Did you hear? Director Wang is going to switch one of the managers to a British company in London in a few weeks," the first woman said.

"I've heard about that. Kiku Honda, right? He's manager for one of the new girls," her friend replied in a low voice.

"It must be tough, being in that business," the first woman shook her head. Her friend murmured in agreement.

"But I'm jealous of him, that Honda…! I wish I could get out of the country and work in Europe. Everything is so much more fun there."

Mei closed her book and left the lounge quietly. The women's voices resounded in her ears. That's right, Europe would be so much more fun. So Kiku really was leaving then, true to her suspicions and her fears. She clenched her fists and headed for her manager's office, trying to ignore the buzz in her head that always came before a good cry. The doors were locked and the interior was dark, but Mei assumed that if she could see inside, everything would be packed up into neat boxes.

"Miss Lin." A voice behind her greeted her. She turned to see Kiku with a concerned look on his face. "May I help you?"

"Yes, actually," Mei walked up to him and crossed her arms. "So, manager. When's your flight for London?"

"Lon—" the man's eyes widened. He swallowed. Mei took in his fluster with severe eyes. Kiku shook his head and ran a hand through his short hair. "No, Miss Lin. You're mistaken."

"Am I?" Mei tried to maintain her cool attitude, but she heard her voice fragment. "I am aware that you've made arrangements with Director Wang and people at the European record label to switch over." She paused, and then looked at him. "I don't mind, Mr. Honda. Congratulations on getting the position. Just...I wish you had told me sooner."

She turned away and pretended to check her watch. To her surprise, she felt a light touch on her shoulder and glanced up to Kiku's dark eyes searching her own amber ones. She dropped her eyes, unable to keep his gaze.

He smiled, a genuine one this time, not the fake one he always had on when he spoke to his colleagues. "Like I said, Miss Lin. You're mistaken. The chance to be switched to Arthur's company did come up, but I rejected it."

"You...but why?" Mei was shocked. Why had her sensible manager turned down such an opportunity? It was something she had never thought he would do. She rubbed her sleeves over her face quickly, hoping he had missed the dampness around her eyes.

"Because I couldn't possibly leave my work here unfinished," he replied simply. "I believe you understand that about me, Miss Lin. I am, afterall, a Japanese man. There will always be other opportunities for me in the future..."

He was cut short by arms that circled his torso. Mei leaned her forehead against his chest and tightened her arms around him, even though she felt him stiffen uncomfortably. She laughed to herself at his awkwardness.

"Thank you, Manager Honda."

She felt him pat her back lightly, his hand barely touching her.

"Let's work hard, Miss Lin."

.

.

.

* * *

 **A/N:** Ahh, I never get tired of awkward Kiku lol

And this brings our first arc to a close~ This was sort of an introduction to show the world that Mei is in and build the relationship between Kiku and Mei in the beginning. We'll be introducing more characters in the upcoming chapters!

Please let us know your thoughts and maybe some suggestions for improvement! Since it's all based off an rp, we're not really aiming to create a masterpiece of fanfiction, but constructive criticism is always welcome!


	6. Track 2-1: Für Elise

**Track 2: Für Elise**

* * *

 _Like a comet pulled from orbit_

 _As it passes a sun_

 _Like a stream that meets a boulder_

 _Halfway through the wood_

 _Who can say if I've been changed for the better?_

 _But because I knew you_

 _I have been changed for good_

\- "For Good" by Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth

* * *

Light filtered through the recently polished glass windows and a warm breeze rustled the olive green curtains. Elise had asked to have the door left open because it made her feel a little less isolated.

She reread the letter in her hands for a fourth time. She'd finally gathered up the courage to write it and her brother had readily agreed to mail it for her. Before it would have never occurred to her to send a letter to a famous person, much less an idol, she admired. But Xiao-Mei Lin had made her smile at her lowest point and, as silly as it sounded, given her the determination to continue on. Even if she never saw the letter, Elise had always been firmly taught her manners and she felt she should, at the very least, give her thanks in return.

She tucked a strand of short blond hair behind her ear. Elise was painfully aware of the brevity of life. That was why she'd made up her mind to at least try to contact the girl who'd unknowingly given her so much. There was no harm in trying and the worst that could happen was she would simply not receive a reply. She carefully folded the paper and slipped it back in its envelope. Despite the odds, she couldn't help but feel a warm flame of hope flicker within her weak body.

Just once, she'd like to meet the girl whose spirit had inspired her to live.

.

.

* * *

Mei sat by the window in the back of a recording room, absently flipping through pages of lyrics. She looked up as someone tapped lightly on the door of the room. Kiku entered quietly, a stack of mail in his hand.

"There's something for you, Miss Lin." He handed her a small square envelope. She turned it over curiously. Most of her letters were from fans and were usually delivered by the company to her dormitory where she could go through them on her own. The pale blue paper was adorned with neat script and Mei recognized the studio address. She squinted at the sender address.

.

 _Dear Miss Xiao-Mei Lin,_

 _My name is Elise Vogel, and I am a fan of yours from Liechtenstein. Your music has inspired me more than that of any other singer's, and it has been your voice that has pulled me through so many hard times. I'm so excited to be able to come to Taipei this year to see this wonderful city…_

 _._

Mei grinned to herself as she finished the letter. "Mr. Honda, she says she wants to meet with me!"

Kiku looked stunned for a moment. It was any fan's dream to meet their idol, but Mei had never said anything about meeting them outside of the designated fanmeets and concerts. "But Miss Lin, your schedule is packed for the next entire month—"

"I know that," Mei cut in impatiently and pushed the pile of lyrics aside. "But I don't have a very large fanbase at this point, so wouldn't it make sense to meet with those who have contacted me at this point? I would love to get to know Elise better."

Kiku paused. "Yes, I suppose it would help with your relationship with the audience. Allow the public to get to know you better." He pulled out his phone. "I'll get in contact with Miss Vogel for you. But please use this time to practice the new songs, Miss Lin."

.

Within a week, Kiku met with Mei with a list of details about Elise Vogel, as well as a time window when the two could meet.

"I got in contact with her adoptive brother, Basch Zwingli, who's in the country for an international collaborative project. He brought Miss Vogel with him after she kept on insisting, but the girl is in a very fragile state of health."

Fragile state of health? Mei glanced up at Kiku. "What do you mean by that?"

He continued. "Miss Vogel is in the terminal stages of leukemia, and is undergoing intense chemotherapy. Mr. Zwingli says that she has about a year left, eighteen months at the most." He looked up and met Mei's eyes, shocked with horror. "I'm sorry, Miss Lin."

"I see." Her response was barely audible. "What's her hospital, Mr. Honda?"

.

After a week of raking her mind on what to say and what to bring for her fan, Mei was finally standing at the door of Elise's room. She shifted her guitar case on her back and clutched a small potted orchid in her hands. She mentally drilled herself through what to say to the girl in order to avoid the taboo phrases that could offend a sick person, and all the possible permutations of allusions to death that could slip up.

The nurse opened the door, and she stepped into the room.

The sterile smell of chlorine flooded her nose.

Elise Vogel sat in the bed, an IV attached to her arm and a smile bright on her face.

.

* * *

 **A/N:** Sorry this chapter is a little later than usual! I may post the next chapter earlier this week to make up for it ^^

Rather than using 'Lily' for Liechtenstein, we chose 'Elise' since that's inspiration99's (the co-author) headcanon human name for her :D We both thought it sounded more Germanic. We did our best to research leukemia for the rp, but we are no experts so please forgive us if some of the elements are unrealistic.

This Track will be short (2 chapters if I remember correctly) and then we'll introduce a new arc, but Elise will show up frequently(ish?) in future chapters as well!


End file.
